What?!??

I am posting this both on our blog about Austin and this blog, because while it deals specifically with Asperger's and Austin, it also deals with ignorance about larger families.

Some quick background - Austin has Asperger Syndrome, which is a type of high functioning Autism. Because of AS, he has a lot of sensory issues, plus a lot of anxiety.

For several years, Austin has worn his coat all day long at school. He refuses to take it off. I've spoken with him on several occasions about it when it first started, but then eventually gave up. Last year, because he was at a new school, I had to speak with him about it again because we got a lot of complaints about him wearing his coat all day. He still wore it. This year, there is a new guidance counselor.

When she started, I was so excited. She is fresh out of college and I thought she knew a little bit about AS. Now, I didn't expect her to be an expert, but she had heard of it and acted like she understood it. My hopes were dashed, as she may have heard about it, but understanding it is a whole other thing. She totally doesn't get it.

She has been e-mailing me for a long time and that has been good. However, as the weather got colder, I started getting e-mails about "the teachers" being concerned about Austin wearing his coat all day long and that "he might be cold" and "need more layers."

So, I decided to politely ignore the fact that most of these teachers knew Austin last year and knew that he would not take his coat off, so that didn't seem as much the point. I politely pointed out that he had on several layers under his coat (UnderArmor, a long sleeve shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt), so he was plenty warm and it was more a security/anxiety issue than anything else.

Do you know what she wrote back??? She said, and I quote, 'I'm glad to hear that he has options to wear at home and to help him with layers!' Seriously!?!?!? Like, because we have six kids, we can't possibly afford to clothe all six children and be sure they have enough options to keep them warm. What?!?! I was so offended and so angry that she ignorantly thought that we did not have enough money to afford our children.

Yes, maybe some people cannot afford all the children they have in a larger family. However, most larger families that I know, know that they can afford the children they already have and any future children they may have prior to having more children. Adding to one's family, especially a larger family, is not something taken lightly and not an accident. Everyone I know, myself included, knows they can feed and clothe all of their children in a manner which is weather-appropriate at all times. They may not be designer clothes (and sometimes they may be), but each child has what he/she needs.

In that same e-mail, she mentioned that the teachers were concerned his coat "wasn't clean." Well, I informed her I wash his coat three times a week. She was happy to hear that. I figure if I am washing the coat that often, then they really can't complain about it. It isn't dirty. So I've taken away the two reasons they want him to not wear his coat. And I've spoken with him about it. He's still wearing his coat daily and I'm fine with it. He has on layers, and it's clean - they can say nothing.

Why is a coat such a problem??? And, seriously, of all the issues we have had with him, why pick on the coat?? And if that's their only complaint right now, then we are doing MIGHTY good!!!

Camp

Austin has an Asperger camp twice this week with his psychologist and a group of kids his age with Asperger's. He went today and loved it. It was meant to teach social skills, work on motor skills, life skills, and also be fun.

They made lunch for themselves. They had pigs in a blanket - Austin just had the "pig"; cut apple slices (they had to cut); macaroni and cheese, and for dessert they made "push cookies." They were given sugar cookie dough and they had to push ingredients into it (ie, m&m's, dried bananas, etc.). I could easily see where all this combined life skills and motor skills, all while being fun.

He had to describe an item that he drew and the group had to draw it while he described it and then guess what it was. He chose to describe his using letters. See if you can guess what he's describing (I couldn't!): It has a "T," a "Y," and two "O's." Are you guessing???




Give up yet??




Now do you give up???




It's a bike!

I am amazed constantly by how his mind works sometimes and this is just one example. Why you would choose letters over it has a seat, handlebars, a chain, and two wheels is WAY beyond my comprehension.

They also had some discussion and made paper airplanes. All in all, he had a great day.

And, I, also, had a fabulous day of eating lunch by myself and finally getting to check out the shops in downtown Cedar Falls without anyone else along!

And a meeting...

Austin has done exceptionally well this year with responsibility, turning in his work, on time, and getting things done in a timely manner. In fact, he's done so well, I was beginning to wonder what was going on. He usually does very well the first 3-4 weeks, then peters out and "forgets" stuff. Last week, I got "the call" and e-mails from several teachers. His work wasn't turned in and he was just "out of it." And not until I got home did I remember that last week, they had two late arrival days. That would probably be the main reason for all of this.

So today I met with them. I informed them that he is doing much better this year than he has in the past, considering it's December and almost semester end and usually this sort of work doesn't even make it through the first quarter. I tried to explain the wonders of Asperger's and his lack of organization, but once again all I heard about was how intelligent he was, how well read he was, and how articulate and what a vocabulary he had. Soooo...you didn't do any research on Asperger's, then, is what you're telling me???

His science and social studies teacher has been concerned because he's been a little speed demon again (remember the famous F on a science test of all things???), but when he turned in his last test, he did very well. He was done in 5 minutes flat and he kept asking him to be sure to look it over again and make sure he didn't have any wrong, but Austin insisted he was done and read the rest of the class. Well, sure enough, he got two wrong and got an A on that test. Sometimes I just feel like screaming and wishing he would fail...only to learn that fastest isn't always the best in life!

He's also apparently taken a liking to hiding his coat behind the door of a nearby classroom, instead of putting it into his locker, when he decides to take it off at all. Hmmmm...wonder why that's happening? Wouldn't have anything to do with his locker being chuck-full of garbage, would it?? So he was talked to about that. He also wears his coat and gloves most of the day and they were concerned about that. I did inform them that he wears his coat all day at home. One of two things is happening there. Either he is, once again, not eating and losing weight and can't keep warm, or just as likely, the coat has become part of his "uniform." I sometimes think they must believe that he has only two shirts and one pair of pants and they never get washed. He routinely wears the exact same clothes over and over and over (and I was them every single night). His dresser drawers and closet are filled to overflowing with very nice clothes, but he won't deviate from his "uniform." So, hence, the coat has become an article of clothing that he must wear. This is not a battle I am willing to fight and, in the long run, really doesn't matter, so I told them to ignore it and let him do it.

He got his ITBS test results back today. I haven't seen them, but they did tell me that in two or three, he was once again off the charts (100% accuracy and 13+ grade level). They were ever so proud of themselves as a school...or at least, the principal was. I didn't tell him they have very little to do with it. At any rate, I hope that he brings home the results himself in the next couple of days so I can look them over myself.

I also talked with the principal and he said that he did indeed, punish the young lady to the fullest extent after talking with both Austin and her. He said Austin did admit to saying she liked a 10 year old, but she admitted to saying I got pregnant by Austin. The only comment he couldn't prove was the "gay" comment (because that word is banned) and "noone" heard her say that. They did hear everything else, though. He spoke with several "witnesses" and decided it was a "balancing act" and he decided to trust Austin "this time." And I quote "I just hope I did the right thing." Oh, trust me, you did.

All in all, a pretty good meeting and it seems like Austin is still doing well. They said they could tell that I had spoken to him, because he is buckling down a lot better this week. I warned them that after Christmas break, it would be a nightmare again, and he would take a good 2-3 weeks at a minimum to get back into a routine. Hopefully I'm proven wrong, but I doubt it...