Public School vs Homeschool

Unfortunately, I have noticed in the last couple of years, that homeschooling is as hot-button a topic as any other parenting decision. When I was pregnant, the raging debate was natural, unmedicated birth vs medicated birth vs c-section. Now, all these years later, does it matter? No, because we move on. The next debate is breastfeeding vs bottle feeding. Then attachment parenting vs traditional parenting. Cloth diapering vs disposable. Co-sleeping vs cribs. Homemade baby food vs store bought. Natural foods vs processed. Organic vs not-organic. Vaccines vs not. The list goes on and on and on and one would think that by the time our children reach preschool, kindergarten, grade school, middle school or high school, we would learn that every family is individual and makes the decision that is best for the family, right?! It appears, not so much. The hostilities on both sides of the "Public School vs Homeschool" debate are huge!

There are so many educational choices for parents today, that we should be grateful for the diversity of decisions parents can make to educate our children. You can choose public school, private school, charter schools, virtual academies, public online academy, coops, immersion, homeschool, unschooling........ {taking a breath} It is no longer "just" public school vs homeschool. It's so much bigger than that and we should be excited as parents by all the options that are available to teach our children! Choosing one way over another does not mean we love our children less, same as choosing to bottlefeed instead of breastfeeding means we don't love them. Or eat organic. Or not eat organic. Or cloth diaper. Or disposable diaper. Nor does it makes us a better parent, choosing one option over another.

I have noticed one difference in the schooling debate that, I believe, may very well be unique to schooling verses any other parenting decision. It seems that in almost all other debates, the moms are the ones who are the most emotionally-charged and can be the hardest on each other. That is not true with schooling. Moms are passionate, but so are dads. Dads can be as passionate and emotionally-charged about the education of their children as moms.

Our family went about homeschooling very gradually. I had toyed with homeschooling Austin from the time he was in 3rd grade, but was never confident enough to do it. I didn't do a lot of research on it, because it was just a thought and something I knew I couldn't really do. More of a pipe-dream really. By the time Aidan was in preschool, I knew I didn't want him to go to public school when he got to kindergarten, but still was a little uncertain if I could seriously educate him and how it may harm him socially (ha!). I prayed about it and had found plenty of scripture to back it up (will get to that in a moment), but my husband was not on board. Because I strive to be submissive, which for us is actually that we both agree on decisions, and that Steve has the "ultimate" decision, I was willing to wait on him. My prayer had to become that God would work on Steve's heart and move him towards that decision. That decision came when Austin was a freshman. By that time, we knew we would homeschool the others, but that we would wait until Austin graduated, so I could fully focus on his education. God moved quickly by the time Aidan was in 2nd grade and, by December, we knew we would be homeschooling all of our children the next year.

For us, it was never a decision we made lightly, and it was something we searched scripture and bathed in prayer. If it was only our will and not the Lord's, we would fail miserably. One scripture that was very important to us, and I am sure is important to many homeschooling families (but is definitely not exclusive to homeschooling, as it was important long before we did homeschool), is Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."  Another important scripture about seeking the Lord that came to us was from Poverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Another important verse for us was Acts 5:29 "But Peter and the apostles answered, we must obey God rather than man."

In these verses, we found comfort knowing that we would be training our children the way that we saw the Lord guiding us to do so and in a way that was appropriate for our family. But to do that, we first had to submit to God to make that clear to us and have our hearts open to whatever He directed us to do, and, if that included homeschooling, it would be counter-cultural and we would be obeying God and not just "going with the flow" of public schooling. Which would be difficult in some aspects, but God does not ask you to do something that He has not equipped you for (Hebrews 13:21 "[He will] equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen."). He is always there to guide us, if only we seek Him.

There are many other verses about educating your child. How you discern it for you and your family is how the Lord reveals it to you. For us, each of the following verses directs us to educate our children at home ourselves.

Deuteronomy

11:19 - "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

4:9 - "Only take care and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children..."

6:5-7 - "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your  might. And these words that I command to you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit down in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Isaiah 28:8-11 "To whom will he teach knowledge, and to whom will he explain the message? Those who are weaned from milk and those taken from the breast? For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little."

Psalm 78: 5-7 "He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments."

2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."

Colossians 2:8 "See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to elemental spirits of the world, and not of Christ."

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

God showed us that each of these verses was, for us, about teaching our children at home, where we are able to choose the curriculum we desire to teach our children, and rely on Him. But not a single one of those verses says anything about only homeschooling. All of these same verses may be taken differently by others and speak to how they are to raise their children generally and not specifically to the education of their children. To us, it speaks to how we are to raise our family in general, which includes their education. Each of us has to rely on God to discern His will for their own family. God has made each individual person unique and each family unique with unique purposes in life.

Finally, a few verses for all of us. We all are created by God and it must break His heart to see such division among His followers. We need to remember Who we serve and why.

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."  God wants us to do whatever we do - stay at home mom, homeschooling mom, work at home mom, working mom, divorced, single, married, everyone - to do it for Him, and not anyone else. If we do that, we are doing exactly what we are designed to do. Serve God in everything that we do, all the time.

2 John 1:9 "Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son."  We are all to abide in Christ and the teaching of scripture - homeschool, public school, private school, coop, unschool, charter school.....

I am closing with 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 because I feel like sometimes we forget that we are all created by God for His purpose ultimately and we all must have love for each other. If we do not have love, how can we possibly love anyone else? How can we at all realize that we are not all cookie-cut people who are exactly the same and expect everyone to only do what we do and if they do not, they are wrong or don't love their children? When we love as Christ first loved us, we are able to see each other for who they are in Christ and not judge each other so harshly. Every single parent makes decisions constantly for their children that are based on what is best for their children. We all need to learn to respect each other and not think that one choice is "better" than another. Because it's not. Every decision made by parents for their children guided by the Lord, is the right decision for their family. Parenting is hard. Let's all come together and not divide ourselves so much, in every aspect of parenting. The Lord has given us fellow believers to have for fellowship here on earth...let's not lose that and divide it further!

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a;13
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant, or rude. It does not insist on it's own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at the wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ... So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Chicago Mission Trip: Day 1

 

Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is about to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now.

St. Teresa of Avila

7.11.10

While this is a new quote to me, it is appropriate to my prayers while we were in Chicago. Originally, I "wanted" to go to Chicago to be there for Austin and to experience something special with him - just the two of us. As we got closer to the trip becoming a reality, I realized that if my motivation was simply to "tag along" with Austin and not really do anything other than be a chaperone, maybe I wasn't meant to go. So my prayer during the fundraising part was that Austin and I would be able to raise enough support that we could both attend and not have to worry about the trip financially at all. If that happened, then I knew that I was within God's will to go. If it did not, then it was God's will for Austin to go alone. We sent out support letters to family, friends, and acquaintances. We laid out exactly what the trip was about and what we had planned to do. God made it abundantly clear that I was to go along, for myself, as much as to be there for Austin and as a chaperone for the rest. Not only did we raise enough support for Austin and I to go, but we made enough to send a third person and make a dent in a fourth person! The letters and support flooded in and it was absolutely awesome to see God's power and the way he used our family and friends - and to see their obedience to the Father. God fairly screamed that we were both to go.

We had several fund raisers, but even up to a week or so before the trip we had no idea if, financially, the group would be able to afford the trip as a whole or if parents would have to quickly make up the difference. I continued to abide in Christ and trust Him that He alone would provide the means. One plus we had was that there was never a deadline for the entire amount; we had to make a deposit (which we were able to do), but the rest of the money was not due until we actually arrived at the Dream Center in Chicago. How appropriate that it was literally up to the day that we left that we not only had enough money, but suddenly had a surplus! God was already showing us how powerful this trip was going to be, but many (all?) of us didn't recognize it at that point yet.

I was a nervous wreck prior to the trip. Looking back, I see that it was definitely Satan messing with me - in some huge ways and in other, smaller ways. The day before the trip, the kids were being awful and I was having a very difficult time getting packed and everything ready to go. Much to my dismay {and embarrassment} now, I had the worst adult tantrum ever. It was awful. And like other huge moments in my life, I was ready to throw in the towel and not go. I said it a few times. Thankfully, I didn't let that stop me but for an hour.

I was a little nervous about where we would be staying and knowing what Global Expeditions had told us about the location (it wasn't the safest place - and especially nerve wracking when you are used to a very small town). But one of my biggest fears was the youth. I hadn't been exceptionally involved with the youth in our church up to that point (I was still trying to tell myself I didn't like high schoolers much). Other than the fundraisers (which were fun), I had minimal interaction with many of them and I had convinced myself that they all hated me and it was going to be miserable. Now I know that was also Satan, but wow was I concerned - overly so - about that! 

We all gathered in the church parking lot at about 6 am Sunday morning. Everyone was filled with a nervous energy and excited to get going. Everyone was also surprisingly well put together for that hour! We all gathered around and prayed over the trip, our travel, and each person going. Then we said goodbye to our families, got into the van and didn't look back! 

 

There was a lot of chatter on the way and everyone had a great time. We were staying in the Humboldt Park area of Chicago - which is a Puerto Rican area. We ended up getting to Chicago earlier than expected. We hung out in the heat for a while and then were able to get together with everyone in the Dream Center office. We waited for what felt like hours, but once everyone was registered, paid for, and ready, they took us to our dorms.  The girls to one and the boys to another. The poor boys went to a hard gym floor to stay for the week - but they had air conditioning. The girls got a pretty nice - but sweltering - apartment. We were about 10 blocks from each other; both in buildings owned by the Dream Center/New Life Covenant Church. We (the girls) actually had much nicer accommodations than I had anticipated.

Because we were the first youth group there and our activities didn't start for a while, we had some time to just hang out in our apartment and relax. It was great and a lot of fun to get to know these girls a little better.

Later in the evening, we had supper provided for us by the Dream Center/church. All I can say is WOW! Every meal they made us was amazing! It was authentic Puerto Rican food (not to be mistaken with Mexican). I discovered I could survive on that the rest of my life! Following supper, we had a service to get us right and ready to go. We spent a lot of time in prayer and I was honored when two of the girls came to me to pray over them. Austin sat struggling through the service and was not really approaching anyone to pray with. I knew that he was close to Dustin (our youth pastor at the time) and began praying that he would go to him. I felt an urgency, so prayed harder, when he suddenly got up....and came to me! It was very powerful to be able to pray over my own son and whatever it was he was struggling with and something I will never forget (it was very different than any prayer I had prayed over him prior to that trip - but not since).

After the service, we were given a brief time of teaching on how to evangelize and the different ways to go about it. Then they had the kids practice on each other. Because it was already pretty late, that was the extent of our Sunday night. We went back to our dorm and relaxed in preparation for the next day. 

Chicago Mission Trip: Prologue

It has been well over a year since Austin and I joined youth from our community on a mission trip to inner city Chicago. I originally had very good intentions to blog about it right away. I, obviously, have not. I have not written about it anywhere; except in my devotional journals while I was actually in Chicago. I have tried and tried to write about it, but for some reason, the timing was never right. What I actually believe is that I was not ready to write about it until now and Satan has really been oppressing me and discouraging me from putting my thoughts and words down.

It is really hard to explain, but even now, thinking about the trip and actually writing it all out -for everyone to see (whoever might want to read) is causing me a lot of anxiety. I want to share about our trip. I want to share about the absolutely amazing ways God ripped me out of my comfort zone and changed the entire course of my life in a few short days in a city not so far away. I desire others to know how God can work through us and in us and the amazing ways God will use your life if only you will let him. I believed that long before Chicago, but it wasn't until I was actually there that I could see crystal clear what He would do in me and through me, if only I was completely open to Him. I believe the anxiety comes from Satan, because he very much wants me to continue my silence in the ways God used that trip for His good and His purpose. I also know that many of the things I experienced are not easy to write out and talk about; not at all. I have not shared much with everyone in general because it would mean completely processing everything, and in a very real sense, reliving it all.

There are some things that came about as a direct result of that trip that I have prayed would be taken away from Austin. And it is hard to admit that I would pray against something that God chose to bless Austin with; but as a mom, I also see the spiritual battle it has thrown Austin into. I can pinpoint the exact moment God gifted Austin, and I can also pinpoint ways it changed him. I prayed that God would take it away; that Austin was far too young to have the gift he has; that Austin would not be able to "handle" it. Satan really attacked Austin from that trip and still is. In some ways, Austin recognizes it. In many ways, he does not. It's a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute spiritual battle for him, and also for us....as a mom, as his parents, as his family. It makes it harder that many people do not believe the power Satan has. Many people underestimate him. I  may or may not share the specific spiritual gift that Austin was blessed with. And yes, today I do view it as a gift and a blessing. I always have, it's just been hard to see my child have to go through what he has had to go through in the last year. But it is a blessing. Austin now knows exactly how real God is. I always thought he did prior to the trip, but that trip changed him and also brought him into a much deeper relationship with God. And I can only imagine the things that God must have planned for him, if Austin continues to seek Him and His will over his life, witnessing how very threatened Satan is by Austin. 

I was changed. Life changing things happened on that trip. There were a lot of amazing things that happened. I can't wait to share about them all.....yet, I also hesitate, only because I know it is going to be hard. 

This was a very powerful experience for me. You may think that things like this really can't happen; but they do. I plan on sharing exactly what happened during the trip and the ways in which we were all changed.  And I will never, ever apologize for sharing God's power and God's love with everyone. 

To My Husband

I am feeling a little gushy today and I just want the world to know how much I truly love my husband and appreciate all that he does for me and for our family.

He is an amazing man, husband, and father. I am truly in awe of my husband many days. He handles things with so much more grace and patience than I could ever wish to have. He loves to play with our boys and gladly takes care of them and their needs whenever he can. He takes off time without any complaints for various illnesses (theirs and mine), school activities, meetings with teachers, extracurricular activities. He takes off almost an entire week in August just to be sure that he is there for Austin during fair, to help him however he can and to watch Austin at any of the things he participates in. Our boys will always know that our family comes first, before anything else, work included. I feel so blessed to have a husband who knows and understands the value of family.

He is deeply rooted in Christ. His faith was a catalyst to my acceptance of Christ. We have always had amazing discussions. If I don't understand something, I can ask him. If I just want his opinion on something, I can go to him and sometimes it's exactly what I think and other times, he puts a whole new spin on something that makes it that much easier for me to understand. I am so thankful that my husband is a man of God and is saved and is helping me to raise our boys with that same faith. I am indebted to his parents for bringing him up in a home where Christ was important and instilling that faith in him.

Steve and I have so much fun together. We just laugh together, often, and that is critical to a good relationship.

I love raising my children and I am thoroughly enjoying the years that I have them under my care, but I am also greatly looking forward to our retirement and to the time when we do not have children in our home. I am excited to look to the future and see what we may do together and spending our days together. I love every second of the NOW, while still looking forward to the LATER. I enjoy every minute I spend with Steve and I know that I always will.

I hope that my children can find a spouse like I have found in their father; can have healthy relationships and happy families. I hope that we are raising them to understand that God comes first, then your spouse, then your children. If you have God first, spouse second, everything else will fall into place. We know together Who to turn to when we don't have the answers and are struggling to understand why we are going through something.

I am incredibly blessed to have my husband in my life as my best friend, my lover, and my co-parent.

I love you, Steve!!

Reflecting

"To whom much is given, from him much will be required." -Luke 12:48 NKJV

Last night, Ethan woke up around 10:30, which seems to be his new "normal." As I was rocking him, I looked at him and thought of how far we have come. I am in awe of all that has happened in such a relatively short period of time. We are so very blessed and I am forever grateful for all that has been given to us.


I was thinking back to just finding out we were pregnant and how excited I was! I couldn't believe it finally happened. And then to see three tiny heartbeats on that screen...wow! I will never forget praying in the restroom right before my ultrasound that there be a heartbeat and the "baby" be OK, and oh, yeah, God, as a sideline, please let there be at least two babies and preferably three. I was utterly flabbergasted when I found out there were three babies. Steve has since told me to be a little less specific next time...I'm thinking maybe more specific would be helpful (please let there be another baby, and oh, yeah, only one next time Lord!!). Being told to abort "at least one, and preferably two" makes me think who wouldn't be here? If I had put all my trust in a human, instead of the Almighty, who would I have killed?

Remembering the entire pregnancy and worrying throughout all that maybe something would happen and they wouldn't all be OK. Wondering how early they'd be, how long they'd be in NICU, would they all come home?
Then thinking back to the birth and all that happened before and during. Hearing their first cries...how thankful I was and how amazed that they were all fine! Bringing them all home, with us, on that cold, cold day in February and being in awe of them when they got home. Watching Austin and Aidan interact and bond with them in the hospital and again, at home.
Those first couple of months went by in a blur. The nighttime feedings and how miserable Noah was. I prayed that something would be figured out and it was.


Now, at only seven months old, it seems like so much has happened in the last year since finding out. Staring down at Ethan, when I laid him down in that big ol' crib by himself, was just amazing. He is still so tiny, and yet, so healthy. They are all so happy and peaceful. They have come such a long way and we were spared all the heartache that could have been, and much of which is a reality for parents of multiples.

I have been told more times than I can count that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and God must have known what he was doing when he gave us triplets. I don't believe at all that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Of course He gives us more, otherwise why would we ever lean on His strength and not our own understanding? But has he chosen us as parents of triplets? I believe so. And I take great comfort in knowing that God believes we can handle all of our children and has blessed us with each and every one of them and I lean on that daily.


We have come such a long way and we have all blended into this wonderful family. Yes, things are difficult some days. No, we are not perfect parents by any means and we make mistakes. Our lives are hectic and busy and full of activity, but would we ever change any of it? No way!


We are so very blessed and so very thankful. And I am reminded once again of "...to whom much is given, from him much will be required."