Public School vs Homeschool

Unfortunately, I have noticed in the last couple of years, that homeschooling is as hot-button a topic as any other parenting decision. When I was pregnant, the raging debate was natural, unmedicated birth vs medicated birth vs c-section. Now, all these years later, does it matter? No, because we move on. The next debate is breastfeeding vs bottle feeding. Then attachment parenting vs traditional parenting. Cloth diapering vs disposable. Co-sleeping vs cribs. Homemade baby food vs store bought. Natural foods vs processed. Organic vs not-organic. Vaccines vs not. The list goes on and on and on and one would think that by the time our children reach preschool, kindergarten, grade school, middle school or high school, we would learn that every family is individual and makes the decision that is best for the family, right?! It appears, not so much. The hostilities on both sides of the "Public School vs Homeschool" debate are huge!

There are so many educational choices for parents today, that we should be grateful for the diversity of decisions parents can make to educate our children. You can choose public school, private school, charter schools, virtual academies, public online academy, coops, immersion, homeschool, unschooling........ {taking a breath} It is no longer "just" public school vs homeschool. It's so much bigger than that and we should be excited as parents by all the options that are available to teach our children! Choosing one way over another does not mean we love our children less, same as choosing to bottlefeed instead of breastfeeding means we don't love them. Or eat organic. Or not eat organic. Or cloth diaper. Or disposable diaper. Nor does it makes us a better parent, choosing one option over another.

I have noticed one difference in the schooling debate that, I believe, may very well be unique to schooling verses any other parenting decision. It seems that in almost all other debates, the moms are the ones who are the most emotionally-charged and can be the hardest on each other. That is not true with schooling. Moms are passionate, but so are dads. Dads can be as passionate and emotionally-charged about the education of their children as moms.

Our family went about homeschooling very gradually. I had toyed with homeschooling Austin from the time he was in 3rd grade, but was never confident enough to do it. I didn't do a lot of research on it, because it was just a thought and something I knew I couldn't really do. More of a pipe-dream really. By the time Aidan was in preschool, I knew I didn't want him to go to public school when he got to kindergarten, but still was a little uncertain if I could seriously educate him and how it may harm him socially (ha!). I prayed about it and had found plenty of scripture to back it up (will get to that in a moment), but my husband was not on board. Because I strive to be submissive, which for us is actually that we both agree on decisions, and that Steve has the "ultimate" decision, I was willing to wait on him. My prayer had to become that God would work on Steve's heart and move him towards that decision. That decision came when Austin was a freshman. By that time, we knew we would homeschool the others, but that we would wait until Austin graduated, so I could fully focus on his education. God moved quickly by the time Aidan was in 2nd grade and, by December, we knew we would be homeschooling all of our children the next year.

For us, it was never a decision we made lightly, and it was something we searched scripture and bathed in prayer. If it was only our will and not the Lord's, we would fail miserably. One scripture that was very important to us, and I am sure is important to many homeschooling families (but is definitely not exclusive to homeschooling, as it was important long before we did homeschool), is Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."  Another important scripture about seeking the Lord that came to us was from Poverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Another important verse for us was Acts 5:29 "But Peter and the apostles answered, we must obey God rather than man."

In these verses, we found comfort knowing that we would be training our children the way that we saw the Lord guiding us to do so and in a way that was appropriate for our family. But to do that, we first had to submit to God to make that clear to us and have our hearts open to whatever He directed us to do, and, if that included homeschooling, it would be counter-cultural and we would be obeying God and not just "going with the flow" of public schooling. Which would be difficult in some aspects, but God does not ask you to do something that He has not equipped you for (Hebrews 13:21 "[He will] equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen."). He is always there to guide us, if only we seek Him.

There are many other verses about educating your child. How you discern it for you and your family is how the Lord reveals it to you. For us, each of the following verses directs us to educate our children at home ourselves.

Deuteronomy

11:19 - "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

4:9 - "Only take care and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children..."

6:5-7 - "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your  might. And these words that I command to you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit down in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Isaiah 28:8-11 "To whom will he teach knowledge, and to whom will he explain the message? Those who are weaned from milk and those taken from the breast? For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little."

Psalm 78: 5-7 "He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments."

2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."

Colossians 2:8 "See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to elemental spirits of the world, and not of Christ."

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

God showed us that each of these verses was, for us, about teaching our children at home, where we are able to choose the curriculum we desire to teach our children, and rely on Him. But not a single one of those verses says anything about only homeschooling. All of these same verses may be taken differently by others and speak to how they are to raise their children generally and not specifically to the education of their children. To us, it speaks to how we are to raise our family in general, which includes their education. Each of us has to rely on God to discern His will for their own family. God has made each individual person unique and each family unique with unique purposes in life.

Finally, a few verses for all of us. We all are created by God and it must break His heart to see such division among His followers. We need to remember Who we serve and why.

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."  God wants us to do whatever we do - stay at home mom, homeschooling mom, work at home mom, working mom, divorced, single, married, everyone - to do it for Him, and not anyone else. If we do that, we are doing exactly what we are designed to do. Serve God in everything that we do, all the time.

2 John 1:9 "Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son."  We are all to abide in Christ and the teaching of scripture - homeschool, public school, private school, coop, unschool, charter school.....

I am closing with 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 because I feel like sometimes we forget that we are all created by God for His purpose ultimately and we all must have love for each other. If we do not have love, how can we possibly love anyone else? How can we at all realize that we are not all cookie-cut people who are exactly the same and expect everyone to only do what we do and if they do not, they are wrong or don't love their children? When we love as Christ first loved us, we are able to see each other for who they are in Christ and not judge each other so harshly. Every single parent makes decisions constantly for their children that are based on what is best for their children. We all need to learn to respect each other and not think that one choice is "better" than another. Because it's not. Every decision made by parents for their children guided by the Lord, is the right decision for their family. Parenting is hard. Let's all come together and not divide ourselves so much, in every aspect of parenting. The Lord has given us fellow believers to have for fellowship here on earth...let's not lose that and divide it further!

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a;13
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant, or rude. It does not insist on it's own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at the wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ... So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Chicago Mission Trip: Day 1

 

Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is about to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now.

St. Teresa of Avila

7.11.10

While this is a new quote to me, it is appropriate to my prayers while we were in Chicago. Originally, I "wanted" to go to Chicago to be there for Austin and to experience something special with him - just the two of us. As we got closer to the trip becoming a reality, I realized that if my motivation was simply to "tag along" with Austin and not really do anything other than be a chaperone, maybe I wasn't meant to go. So my prayer during the fundraising part was that Austin and I would be able to raise enough support that we could both attend and not have to worry about the trip financially at all. If that happened, then I knew that I was within God's will to go. If it did not, then it was God's will for Austin to go alone. We sent out support letters to family, friends, and acquaintances. We laid out exactly what the trip was about and what we had planned to do. God made it abundantly clear that I was to go along, for myself, as much as to be there for Austin and as a chaperone for the rest. Not only did we raise enough support for Austin and I to go, but we made enough to send a third person and make a dent in a fourth person! The letters and support flooded in and it was absolutely awesome to see God's power and the way he used our family and friends - and to see their obedience to the Father. God fairly screamed that we were both to go.

We had several fund raisers, but even up to a week or so before the trip we had no idea if, financially, the group would be able to afford the trip as a whole or if parents would have to quickly make up the difference. I continued to abide in Christ and trust Him that He alone would provide the means. One plus we had was that there was never a deadline for the entire amount; we had to make a deposit (which we were able to do), but the rest of the money was not due until we actually arrived at the Dream Center in Chicago. How appropriate that it was literally up to the day that we left that we not only had enough money, but suddenly had a surplus! God was already showing us how powerful this trip was going to be, but many (all?) of us didn't recognize it at that point yet.

I was a nervous wreck prior to the trip. Looking back, I see that it was definitely Satan messing with me - in some huge ways and in other, smaller ways. The day before the trip, the kids were being awful and I was having a very difficult time getting packed and everything ready to go. Much to my dismay {and embarrassment} now, I had the worst adult tantrum ever. It was awful. And like other huge moments in my life, I was ready to throw in the towel and not go. I said it a few times. Thankfully, I didn't let that stop me but for an hour.

I was a little nervous about where we would be staying and knowing what Global Expeditions had told us about the location (it wasn't the safest place - and especially nerve wracking when you are used to a very small town). But one of my biggest fears was the youth. I hadn't been exceptionally involved with the youth in our church up to that point (I was still trying to tell myself I didn't like high schoolers much). Other than the fundraisers (which were fun), I had minimal interaction with many of them and I had convinced myself that they all hated me and it was going to be miserable. Now I know that was also Satan, but wow was I concerned - overly so - about that! 

We all gathered in the church parking lot at about 6 am Sunday morning. Everyone was filled with a nervous energy and excited to get going. Everyone was also surprisingly well put together for that hour! We all gathered around and prayed over the trip, our travel, and each person going. Then we said goodbye to our families, got into the van and didn't look back! 

 

There was a lot of chatter on the way and everyone had a great time. We were staying in the Humboldt Park area of Chicago - which is a Puerto Rican area. We ended up getting to Chicago earlier than expected. We hung out in the heat for a while and then were able to get together with everyone in the Dream Center office. We waited for what felt like hours, but once everyone was registered, paid for, and ready, they took us to our dorms.  The girls to one and the boys to another. The poor boys went to a hard gym floor to stay for the week - but they had air conditioning. The girls got a pretty nice - but sweltering - apartment. We were about 10 blocks from each other; both in buildings owned by the Dream Center/New Life Covenant Church. We (the girls) actually had much nicer accommodations than I had anticipated.

Because we were the first youth group there and our activities didn't start for a while, we had some time to just hang out in our apartment and relax. It was great and a lot of fun to get to know these girls a little better.

Later in the evening, we had supper provided for us by the Dream Center/church. All I can say is WOW! Every meal they made us was amazing! It was authentic Puerto Rican food (not to be mistaken with Mexican). I discovered I could survive on that the rest of my life! Following supper, we had a service to get us right and ready to go. We spent a lot of time in prayer and I was honored when two of the girls came to me to pray over them. Austin sat struggling through the service and was not really approaching anyone to pray with. I knew that he was close to Dustin (our youth pastor at the time) and began praying that he would go to him. I felt an urgency, so prayed harder, when he suddenly got up....and came to me! It was very powerful to be able to pray over my own son and whatever it was he was struggling with and something I will never forget (it was very different than any prayer I had prayed over him prior to that trip - but not since).

After the service, we were given a brief time of teaching on how to evangelize and the different ways to go about it. Then they had the kids practice on each other. Because it was already pretty late, that was the extent of our Sunday night. We went back to our dorm and relaxed in preparation for the next day. 

Baptism, Easter, Everything

On Good Friday, I was baptized. It was the most amazing experience of my life and I would highly recommend all believers do it. I was baptized at a week old and confirmed at 16, but it was not by my "choice," it was more about something that you did because it was expected of you. When I was born again eight years ago, it was something I gave a passing thought to but not much more than that. The church we were in didn't really encourage it and didn't do them often. As the years have gone by, I have felt a stronger and stronger desire to do so. Our pastor offered to do them on Good Friday and so I did.

I have been attacked by Satan before, but this was a whole new level. When I was going to the meeting on the Sunday before, I literally passed the church and said to myself "I really don't need to do this." Thankfully, by the time I turned the corner, I realized what was going on and went in the other entrance. Then for the next five days, I doubted my decision and became increasingly more nervous with each passing day. Of course Satan was on the attack - and I was letting him!

We do not have a baptistery in our church, so we went to the Baptist church to use theirs. (It's a little chilly in Iowa in April to be doing them outside.) When we arrived, we went upstairs and our Pastor came up to talk to us. I admitted how nervous I had been all week - and was relieved to hear him say he was also. There were three of us being baptized and we were all ready for it.

I had the most indescribable feeling when being submerged...it is something I wish I could explain but I really can't put it into words. I could literally feel the Holy Spirit enter in a way I had never in my life felt before. I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit often - sometimes more than others - and I know that He is always there. But I actually felt a breath come from somewhere breaths do not come from...especially under water! And the peace I have felt since has been unbelievable. I am so thankful now that I did it. [In case you are wondering, I forgot my camera - so no pictures, sorry!]

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We took the kids on the Easter Basket hunt downtown on Saturday. That was an experience that I wish I wouldn't have to do again, but I know I will do it all over again next year. In our town, you receive your ticket with your number and then "search" the businesses for your basket. Noah was pitching a fit and he got the first basket. Ethan's was the second basket and Nathanial was still OK. Aidan found the third basket and about that time, Nathanial had had enough. He was honked off that he didn't have one and didn't understand we were still searching for it. Finally, we found his and then Ethan was upset because he didn't get to go in with us (I took each child in individually to get their baskets). We came home, they ate almost all their candy, and then we went to an Easter Egg hunt. We had much more fun there. The boys kind of looked for eggs, but had more fun playing than anything. We all had a good time!

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On Sunday, we got up early for Sunrise Service at church. The youth group did a few skits and they were all great. They did the most powerful presentation of the "Everything" skit (by Lifehouse - this is not our church's skit). I believe it was better than anything I have ever seen online - they did awesome. We then had a fantastic breakfast and Sunday School and then our regular service. Which was also so very moving. It was an awesome, awesome day filled with thanksgiving to the One who saved me from the pits of hell. I absolutely love Easter - it is my favorite holiday. I feel it gets way too commercialized (like every other holiday), but it really doesn't have to. We had a wonderful morning in church and our kids didn't even miss looking for eggs. I was glad we had done the activities on Saturday, because it meant we could totally focus on Jesus' sacrifice and His resurrection 100% on Sunday. I am so very thankful for Jesus and what He did - for ME. And for YOU. He did it for ALL of His children. I cannot even begin to imagine allowing my child to suffer so brutally and be convicted so wrongly for someone else's wrong. I go to bat for Austin all the time and am infuriated when he is wrongly accused. And, yet, this is exactly what God has done through Jesus Christ for each and every one of His children - so that he can have a relationship with you and I. I just cannot put the gratitude I feel into words. I read a fantastic blog about Easter and I cannot even begin to be as eloquent as she was, I highly recommend all read this post.

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I hope that you all had a very blessed lent, Holy Week, and Easter!

Merry CHRISTmas

This year I have been reflecting on Christmas more than any other year. I don't know why...I've been a "real" Christian for over seven years and was raised in the church, so I have truly understood the meaning of it my entire life and especially in the last seven years. It seems to have been triggered by my children. Which is another thing that is perplexing to me, as I have had children for the last twelve years and three of those Christmases I've had infants.

This year, though, it just is impacting me more than any other year. I think about how Mary must have felt. Here she was, never having been with a man, and yet, she was to birth a son who would save the world. Can you imagine how that must feel??? We all think our children are special, but to know that you are carrying, and mothering, the Savior? That is powerful.

Then Joseph. Here he was, engaged to a woman (which was as good as being married in those days), who was pregnant, and it sure wasn't his! Yet, he trusted God and did what was "right." That is unfathomable to me and we could all learn a lesson in trust from Joseph.

The birth of Jesus is a very special time indeed, but without His death and resurrection, it would mean very little. Jesus died for our sins, for my sins.

And God as Father, giving us His son, the human part of Himself. That is what is really on my heart this year. I cannot imagine purposely putting your own child here specifically to die for everyone else. Watching your only child be persecuted and dying a horrible death upon that cross and listening to him crying out to his Father, feeling abandoned. That would be so hard, and yet, God loves each and every one of us so much that he was allowing this sacrifice. As a mother, I wouldn't be able to give up even one of my children, and I have five. I am very selfish that way. I would much rather have something happen to myself than to my children. If one of my children is hurt in any way, that Mama part of me wants to stand up and get in the face of whoever wronged my child, no matter how minuscule it may seem. Yet, so many people persecuted Jesus and eventually put him to death, and God was willing to not only forgive those same people, but also give them eternal life.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16

That verse usually seems so "Christian cliche" that I try to avoid using it, but it is such a powerful verse. That one verse sums up the whole reason Jesus came for us. To literally save us from ourselves, if we choose to accept Him and believe in Him. We are so far from perfect, we need Jesus.

On this day, I encourage you to step back from the gifts and hubbub and think about all that Jesus did for us, and God as His Father and our heavenly Father, through His miraculous birth and ultimately, His death and resurrection. If you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, please take a moment to do so. It means everything to God, He wants to spare us all. And I wouldn't want to miss anyone in heaven!