Sunday, July 16, 2006

Waiting...

I am getting so excited for Thursday that I can hardly stand it. It seems like the last three weeks have just d-r-a-g-g-e-d by! I am more and more convinced there is more than one baby in there. I have checked several different hCG calculators and it is high for a single, and even high for twins. I am so excited to see how many are there and just keep praying that there is a heartbeat. In my heart, I just feel this deep reassurance from God that this baby is OK and everything is going to be fine. I also feel this tug that there is more than one...but have a question as to whether we will actually *have* more than one baby. It's a weird feeling and I don't understand it at all...but I guess all will be revealed this week! I've been feeling more nauseous as the days go by. And it is completely unpredictable. Some days it is constant all day, others it is in the morning, not in the afternoon, then back in the evening, other days are different than that, too. Ugh! And it is just a general icky feeling...not like a real sick, sick feeling. Which I guess is good, but I don't like feeling so icky all the time. I've also still been really dizzy at different times and have some "stretching" type cramps on my right side. It feels more like a pulled muscle than anything is really "wrong." And it is beginning to happen on the left, too. I have been super tired and very irritable, too...I feel so bad for the boys. I have had a short fuse and have tried to be nice, but it isn’t working all the time. I also feel very “full” up top…I don’t know if that is because I nursed until just six months ago or if it normal for everyone, and feel very full and bloated down below. I SWEAR my uterus is already way enlarged…I guess that is normal with a third pregnancy.Steve is excited and nervous also. He's thinking about it more than I realized. We talked about it again and he keeps saying that Thursday is a big day. I keep tossing out different names for him and he keeps telling me that when the snow flies, we can discuss names. I am not one to wait, so I guess I'll just name her! ;)(I'm just kidding!!) I think he's trying to not get my hopes up too high in case something isn't right...but no matter what, this is a baby and I am pregnant and it isn't something that will just be "written off" if there is no heartbeat. He understands that, but is trying to protect me, also. I told Austin today that on Thursday we might have some big news for him when I get back from my doctor's appointment. We haven't told him point-blank yet that I am pregnant, but he's gotten enough hints. So he got really excited and asked me if maybe the shots and medicine have worked. I said we will find out for sure on Thursday. So, now he's excited too. I just don't think this is something that would be a great idea to just drop on him...if at all possible, he needs *some* warning. It is getting harder and harder to not tell my family! We went to dinner yesterday with my mom and uncles and grandparents and I SOOOO badly wanted to tell them. Steve said to go ahead, but I just want to be sure that there is a heartbeat before I tell everyone. I told him if anyone asked if we were ever going to have any more children, though, I would have jumped and said something. Noone did, though. :( Oh, well!Please keep us in your prayers for Thursday and pray for a healthy baby and a strong heartbeat! I will update as soon as possible Thursday afternoon. Our appointment is at 1:30 p.m. and we have a couple hour’s drive to get there and back.

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