Silent No More

I have remained silent on some very key issues and now I am just sick of being silent. I probably should have written this prior to the elections, but then it becomes "political," instead of being my thoughts and feelings on various subjects.

I am deeply saddened by the election results turned out last Tuesday. It isn't because of "who" was elected, but rather "what" was elected. When we go to the polls, we are using a very strong voice on where we stand on certain issues. That is what makes America great. When people choose not to exercise that voice, it is saddening. Unfortunately, some people did not vote because they felt they didn't like "either" candidate or that they were voting for "the lesser of two evils" or any number of excuses. Did you know there were not just two candidates...there were seven. Seven! Is there really an excuse when there are that many people to choose from?? I don't think so. Research people and find one you like - and vote. When you don't vote, then you aren't being heard. If everyone who didn't vote because they didn't like either Obama or McCain, then why didn't they choose someone else? If they had, it may not be Obama nor McCain in office...it could be someone from the other parties.

Who are these people, you may ask? Ralph Nader (Independent), as always. I swear he will run as long as he has breath...and everyone has heard of Ralph Nader. The rest were Cynthia McKinney (Green), a black woman (best of both worlds, some would say); Chuck Baldwin (Constitution); Bob Barr (Libertarian); and Brain Moore (Socialist).

The economy is upsetting to me. People blame the Republicans, blame Bush, blame the banks, blame "predatory lenders," everyone but themselves. [By the way, just as a sidenote, sub-prime mortgages started with Bill Clinton pushing them, NOT Bush...he just kept up the trend, which wasn't right either.] Where is personal responsibility?? When is it your turn to look at yourself and your own irresponsible spending? Seriously, this just makes me irate. Why is it the government or the banks or anyone else's responsibility to tell you what you can or cannot afford?? Home ownership is the "American Dream" because it is a privilege, not a right. And saving for and buying what you can afford, and not going outside your means, is your responsibility. Of course banks are going to try to give you loans you can't really afford. They make more in interest. They are a business, people, not your best friend.

Credit is another thing that could be good, but isn't. If you can't afford to buy something or pay for it right now, then very simply, you can't afford it. If you have to charge something to buy it, then don't buy it. I know people argue with "then I won't eat." Well, then either eat cheaper or get another job. Or look at your other bills and places where you can cut down on your expenses. Living on a budget is not a terrible thing. It's being fiscally responsible. Of course, if you can afford to buy a home (again, not everyone can), then obviously I'm not saying buy that outright, but be responsible.

National healthcare...are you kidding me?? We have Medicaid for people who can't afford healthcare. We have higher-income options in most states (in Iowa, it's Hawk-I) for people who don't qualify for Medicaid, yet can't afford it on their own. What more do people want?? Another handout. Again, it's about responsibility. We pay $556 and change a month for a group policy for our family. We do not have dental, we do not have vision. We take out another $220 per month in cafeteria funds. That totals our monthly insurance costs to over $776. Plus co-pays ($25/visit/person = $125 - $150 out of our pocket just to walk into the doctor's door when we take 5-6 kids who are sick at once), plus deductibles. It does not cover therapies that are proven to work with autistic kids, because they are "alternative" (I'm talking OT, PT, nothing radical and unproven.). Imagine what I could have in almost $800 a month (if noone goes to the doctor - which never happens)! No wonder people don't want to pay their own.

I am also appalled by the abortion rights that were gained last Tuesday. Abortion saddens me to a point that I feel physically ill and like crying when I read about it and/or the candidates stand on abortion. We now have a president-elect who believes so fully in the abortion movement that he supports abortions at all stages of pregnancy - for any reason. He supports embryonic stem cell research. Is he even aware that research has proven over and over again that adult stem cells work so much better than embryonic ones? Embryonic stem cells grow too fast and can lead to cancer. They are not even a good choice - yet many people do not look into it and just trust celebrities to tell them what's best for the entire country. He voted repeatedly against the Born Alive bill. That bill would require medical attention to aborted babies born alive. Yes, this really happens. And Obama supports ignoring them and letting them die. I believe abortion is murder. But to take it one step further and allow a baby who is "accidentally" born alive to die because the mother was trying to abort it...I don't see how anyone can agree with that? At what point is life life? Clearly, not even at birth is life life anymore. Not by his standards.

The whole allowing abortion for the "mother's health" needs to be understood by people, also. Everyone thinks this is a great law. To understand it, you need to understand just exactly how liberally doctor's use "mother's health." When we started the infertility process with Aidan, we were counselled on what we would do if we had a multiple gestation. We said we would never even consider "selective reduction" (aka - abortion), so they informed us they would not trigger with more than 2-3 follicles because they did not want me to carry more than three babies.

When we went back for the triplets, we were never talked to about it. I'm not sure if it was because we were repeat customers or what, but the discussion was never had. The infertility clinic we attended was located at a large teaching hospital, so you always waited forever to see a doctor or resident. Not, apparently, when you are carrying three babies. Immediately upon seeing the ultrasound results, we were whisked into an exam room with the head of the department, three residents, and several nurses. All of them told us how gravely dangerous of a situation we had and that we had to "reduce" the pregnancy to one. If we wouldn't do that, then they would "allow" two. They wanted us to kill Ethan and Nathanial because they are identical and at that point, no dividing membrane was seen. Otherwise, we would kill Noah. By the way, if we didn't have such clear-cut options, they try to find the weakest baby(ies) and if they can't, well, then it's just purely random. Oh, and you must wait until 12 weeks to do it. This was all for "my health." I am only 5'2, a triplet pregnancy is extremely high risk, you never would make it beyond 28 weeks, triplets don't do well after birth no matter what, millions in NICU bills, the list went on and on and on. They never talked to us about it prior to the pregnancy this time!! And when they had three years before, we clearly said No Way! It was in our records. I would LOVE, love, love to take my 35 week, 4 day, no NICU, 2 day NICU, 3 day NICU, all released to home on day 5 triplets to see the doctor(s) who recommended this to us. My point in all this is that it is possible to have healthy babies. And, yes, there are some terrible outcomes in multiples pregnancy. There are also terrible outcomes in singleton pregnancies. There are also wonderful outcomes. And of all the outcomes, if you asked the mothers and families if knowing the outcome would they have reduced, I'm betting all of them would tell you no. Because these are our children you are talking about. An unborn baby is a child. Ask yourself at what point is a person worthy of life? I truly cannot imagine how you could not say from the second of conception. Given the chance, they become people. [By the way, we are at a point in history where they even reduce twin pregnancies - all in the name of the health of the mother.]

They also abort babies who are not perfect. If a baby shows a defect (even Down Syndrome), parents are allowed to kill that baby. Where does this end? If we say they are worthless in utero, then we are saying they are useless outside the mother. So, then, do we arbitrarily kill them later on, when they become "a burden." And what, exactly, is a defect? Blindness? Deafness? Low IQ? Left-handedness? Brown eyes? What?? Austin has autism. If they could detect that in utero, would you be allowed to kill that baby? Most definitely. I cannot imagine life without the people I know who have disabilities.

If you have read my rant this far, thanks. You may wonder why I chose to put it on here - a family blog. All of these issues are family related and will affect my family and my children for a long time. No matter how I voted, I will pray for our leaders and clarity in their decisions. No matter how you voted (and clearly, the majority voted for Obama and for these things), please respect these as my opinions and my feelings and my thoughts.