Homeschool

So we've finally decided to homeschool Austin, the triplets, and Hannah. We're still praying about what to do with Aidan. I feel strongly that we are called to homeschool him also but have some lingering mixed feelings, so we're praying over it.

Austin has had a lot of difficulties in school (if you wish to read any of my rants - and they are rants - you can view  his blog at www.allforaustin.blogspot.com) and we have vehemently disagreed with much of the curriculum for a LONG time, plus this year has been almost torture for him. So we are pulling him for the rest of this year on February 17. This will give me time to get our curriculum figured out, let him finish the trimester at school (this is his super easy trimester), and get all paperwork in order.

According to Iowa law, we only have to notify the school within 14 days of pulling him, but I was unsure what to really do because of his IEP. When I called his school social worker, she told me how to do it but wanted to make sure about other issues with her supervisor. When she called back, she made it very complicated (but thankfully had already spelled out how to do it easily) and now they want an IEP meeting to convince us to dual enroll him for special ed services. Ummm, no. We'll go to their little meeting, to personally deliver all our paperwork, but that's it. His IEP has never been followed and they don't do anything for him in his class, so why bother stressing him out and leaving him there an hour a day. Kinda defeats the purpose.

The triplets will finish preschool to get in as many therapy hours as possible, then they probably will dual enroll for services because theirs are speech-related. So they have one year left in school then will come home. By then, Hannah will be ready for preschool and will not step foot in a school.

For now, we are taking it one trimester at a time. For Austin especially we will see if he'll be respectful and do what I ask of him before committing to next year. For the triplets, Hannah, and Aidan, we will homeschool hopefully at least through middle school and possibly high school but we will follow God's leading through all of it. He has made it very clear that this is what is His will right now for us, and I have tried for three years to ignore that - I no longer will.

This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done and I know there will be times when I just want to give up, but I did not have children to leave them to others to raise 8+ hours a day and to teach them a cultural worldview. I strive to raise them for the Lord and I know the older they get in the public school system, the harder that is. And when you try to buck the system (as in pulling them from things you don't agree with), they have made it almost impossible, have made snide comments in front of my children, have gotten very upset with me (I've been called many names), and generally highly dislike me. I have also never been one of the parents that dreads breaks....I dread my children going back to school and look as forward to breaks as they do! That has to be a sign. Sending them to school has never been easy for me, I have always questioned it, and I believe that has been God urging me to do differently for their lives.

Please pray for us as we begin this journey and continue throughout our journey of homeschooling. I'm anxious in myself, but completely at peace with this decision. And am extremely realistic knowing full well that this is not going to be a cakewalk, but with God's guidance and the support of others, we can and will succeed!

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

~Proverbs 22:6

Autism Testing

So once again life is crazy and I am not keeping up. So much is happening I almost don't know how far I should go back, so for now, I'm not.

We finally were able to have Nathanial and Ethan tested at the Mercy Autism Center a month ago. The good news is that niether one of them was found to have autism. Ethan was iffy anyway and we weren't sure on him, so that was understandable. Nathanial was surprising - and still is. He met criteria for the diagnosis in all areas, except social. When the examiner was speaking with him, he supposedly asked what her children were for Halloween. That showed an interest in her and her family AND him trying to continue the conversation. Otherwise, even socially he met it. Since then we still worry about Nathanial and just have no idea what is going on with him, really. Because although much of it is explained through the other "issues," much of it is not. I suppose time will tell. The three watching the evaluation said they never saw any hand flapping (which is what I reported) and when the examiner came in, they said that to her. She said, oh, no, he did it....he was probably out of range for the window, but it would be on the video. And, sure enough, it was. He also has the very odd speech, high, high pitched voice, echolalia, etc, but he asked that one question.

That, however, does not mean that they do not have a whole host of other issues to work through. They both have a sensory integration disorder. Ethan is incredibly sensory defensive (meaning he seeks sensory input) while Nathanial is more sensory sensitive (he avoids it) most of the time, while others being sensory defensive. I had no idea you could be both, so that was good to know. They also have an auditory processing disorder which is affecting a lot. They both have a "severe and significant" language delay. Finally, they also both have motor delays.

We were told that their issues are being caused by a combination of being preemies (even if they were near term), multiplicity, pregnancy complications and high risk pregnancy, labor/delivery complications, low birth weight (more for Nathanial), severe preeclampsia - and well, you get the idea. All of those things are known factors for many of the things we are dealing with and when you combine them, you rather get an almost perfect storm. But that is also very positive - because it means that much of this, with intensive therapy, they may outgrow.

An auditory processing disorder is that when they are hearing things spoken to them, it gets jumbled and they can't decifer it quickly enough to respond. By the time they do get it, it's too late, the conversation has moved along. They then also have difficulty even expressing what they need or want so all of that adds to the frustration.

Most of Ethan's aggression and anger and extreme OCD tendency's are coming from not understanding and not being understood. He's trying to control whatever part of his world that he can. Ethan's language skills are at a 2 year, 4 month old level and he is only understood by unfamiliar listeners 50% of the time which puts him in the 2nd percentile. No wonder he's frustrated!

Nathanial is understood by an unfamiliar listener 75% of the time, but his overall language skills are much more severe than Ethan. He is only at a 1 year, 5 month level and is lower than the 2nd percentile of his same age peers. They did immediately see and recognize the giggly, out of control behavior as being a stress response and not just something "cute." This has been hard for us because noone else really has and it breaks our hearts when he gets all giggly and squirrely. And he is a very happy little boy, so it can be hard for others to recognize the difference between stressed out giddy and happy. The examiner said she was glad I had warned her, because then she knew to watch for it. When he was trying to do things he couldn't do, he would get a split second panicked look and then just go into his giddy, hyper, running all around response. If you aren't looking at his face for the panic look, you are going to completely miss it.

 Now we move forward. We've been making and putting up story boards all over the house to help them see their schedules and understand the familiar. They need lots of visuals to get through their day. Their teacher is working hard on also doing many visuals at school - more than she already has. We will work hard on them understanding their schedules through visuals until after the holidays and then we will start to change it up a bit (by putting in a "change" card also so they see that). This way, eventually, they will learn to tolerate change a little better. Then we also change the direction of their speech therapy - which is what I have been trying desperately to do for a while. They also have access to the occupational therapist at school and she will be working with their teacher to make things even easier in the classroom.

The best news was that I can homeschool them and this may actually be an excellent option for them. We've prayed about it and are still praying about it. I have been very convicted that I should be homeschooling my children (and am going to be starting Austin in January), so this is positive for me. We are still praying over it and will continue to pray diligently so that we are within the Lord's will and not our own.

Completely Random

So much has been happening and my thoughts are so scattered that I feel I cannot do justice to whatever it is I might want to say. So much has already happened that I feel I have neglected my blog for so long and I'll never catch up; which leads to me putting off posting and then getting further behind. It's an endless cycle. It's gonna stop soon and I'll just post whatever I feel like, but I feel like I should say something in case you've been wondering "where in the world did she go?" I'm still here and I'm determined to just start in and then post about our summer/fall randomly. Just thought I'd warn you....it's probably gonna be scattered! Which is OK, because it'll match my brain!

I do still plan to continue posting about our infertility struggles - I think I just need a tiny break for right now (will probably get back to it next week). I also want to start posting about our mission trip, which will definitely be a multi-part series with all I have to say! And, of course, I want to post about everything that's been happening in our lives at home.

I think that I am feeling so overwhelmed lately due to some major decisions we have made recently. The biggest one is that Nathanial and Ethan are both going to be evaluated for autism in Dubuque at their Autism Center on November 2. I will post soon on all that I've been feeling.

I'm still here, still thinking about this daily, still realizing I need to post more often (this is my only "journal" for these times in our life, so it's important to me to keep up for myself!), still trying!!

Triplets Turn!

Lots has been going on and I still intend to go back and update on our lives over the summer, but I decided that if I wait until I have time to do that, I will never start blogging again! Which is not a good thing, because I pretty much use this as my journal to remember these crazy days of our children growing up. And that seems to be happening way too fast lately!

School started today for the triplets...I cannot believe that they are old enough and it is really, really odd and super quiet to have just Hannah and I at home for several hours. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now about them going. I want to homeschool so you can imagine how difficult it is to send all five, and especially the little three. I didn't want them to go to school until they were four if they were going at all. I only wanted them to have one year of preschool if they were going to go. I wanted them in Sumner for preschool - same as Austin and Aidan. I most certainly didn't want them going five days a week at three years old. I sure didn't want them riding a bus so young. And I most definitely didn't want them being gone from 7:25 until 1:00 every single day. Things change and don't go as we plan. The Lord has plans - plans for good and not to harm - plans to give a hope and a future. And when I step back and realize that I am not in ultimate control that it is up to God what happens in our lives then I also recognize the wonderful things that have come out of them going to school. They are very ready to go themselves. This gives them an opportunity to be with other children during the day. They are immensely enjoying preschool and can't stop talking about it. Their teacher is amazing and really does have their best interests at heart. Tripoli may not have been where I wanted them to go originally, but it sure is now! Tripoli has an excellent program that includes special education. Mrs. E is a special education instructor. Taking the bus makes them feel like big boys. They love Miss Becky, their driver. They get speech therapy twice a week, instead of once a week. Their other IEP goals and needs are met on Fridays, when the class size is much smaller. We are getting at least two more minds observing all three of them, but especially Nathanial and already things are sparking a "hmmm...." reaction. This means maybe, just maybe, we are closer to a referral to figure out what exactly is going on in that little brain. I am getting a lot of one-on-one time that Hannah is just soaking up and loving. Hannah and I are able to go to story hour and enjoy ourselves. I don't have to grow additional limbs to go to story hour! Hannah and I get errands done quickly and easily. Even though I was not prepared for everything our therapists had suggested way back in January of last year, I know that after much prayer the best decisions for them have been made. I know that God's love and desires for Nathanial, Ethan, and Noah are far greater than mine.

So, as they headed off for school on their very first day....I took lots of pictures!

Nathanial is ready!

Ethan is ready!

Noah is excited!

So excited....and a little unsure.

Of course I had to take another picture - with all five of my boys heading off!

Daddy 'herding' everyone to the waiting bus.

Now we're all a little nervous; but we never did cry!

Away they go!!!

Austin and Aidan's first day walking to school together...

Summer's Almost Over

Tonight we had our preschool open house. Summer's almost over and it's almost time for school to start. :( Because Nathanial, Ethan, and Noah will be taking the "bus" to school, I took this opportunity to snap lots of pictures that would otherwise be taken on the first day. I am not going to take them nor follow the bus on the first day of school for a multitude of reasons.

Lined up on the little stars!

Having some tool fun and discovering a new addition
to the preschool since last spring - a hamster!

Nathanial playing in the kitchen.

Ethan playing with the tool bench.

Noah chatting with a new "friend."
(Somehow I think he'll be just fine making new friends!)

Nathanial can barely be torn away from the
fascinating gerbil!

All three checking him out.

Nathanial showing Hannah.

Noah playing with puzzles.

Ethan dressing a baby.

Nathanial playing with a puzzle.

Between their social story books, their teacher taking the time out to visit with the boys at their home, the open house happening just two days before school starts, and lots of conversations about the bus, Miss Becky, Mrs. E and Mrs S, and school, I believe the boys are as ready as they'll ever be to start school!!

WOW!

Well, I have been seriously neglecting my blog lately....but only because we have been cra-zy busy around here!! Since I know that without stressing over it and spending hours updating, I'm not going to...I'll flip in a few (ok, lots!) pictures here and there, but mostly this is going to be a list-update on what's been happening in the lives of the Calonder Crew!
Where to start???Hannah got her tube pulled!!!! On Good Friday (what an awesome day to have it happen?!?), we went in and Hannah was doing so well, we were allowed to pull the ng tube that day!! We were so excited and it has been going really well!Well, obviously you know from this post that the triplets have started preschool!! They went Fridays for three weeks towards the end of the year to get used to their new school that they will be attending in the "fall" (school begins for them August 18). During the summer they are attending a transitional preschool two days a week in Cedar Falls. It's been great for them! They also are attending VBS this week at our church with Aidan. They love it!! It's neat to see them as they get older, but hard also!

Ethan got glasses! Poor little dude couldn't see at all! I think he looks adorable, don't you agree???
Nathanial got another set of tubes and Hannah got her first set. We had no idea Hannah was having issues with fluid, but she had three ear infections in three months, so we did the referral and she had a ton of fluid. They both did awesome!Austin had his 8th grade field trip to the capital and Living History Farms. He loved it and got an awesome shot for fair of the dome!
Austin and Aidan found the tent in the back of the garage that hasn't been used in years and dug it out and had a little background camping! They had so much fun...I was positive they would be inside at some point (it got COLD), but they made it the whole night!There has been a lot of outdoor fun at our house lately...baseball playing in the backyard...
...slipping and sliding and spraying...
...bounce, bounce, bouncing good times in the bounce house....
After all those good times outside, sometimes we just like to relax inside....
...and sometimes we get hurt and have to get our first set of stitches. :-(

But don't relax too long, because if you do, Mom might redo a room on you!

Whew....that wore us out!
{and we're not done yet....watch for lots more updates soon!!!}

Wordless Wednesday

Guess what we've been up to lately...

{I am also fully aware that it has been a l-o-n-g time since I have posted anything...life's been crazy busy, but I'm planning on working on something this week!}

Nathanial and the Garden

Nathanial was enjoying trying to figure out what the garden was (never mind that we didn't do anything with it at the end of the year - it's a disaster) and discovered what we do with all that rabbit "waste."

Triplet's 3rd Birthday Party!

We had the triplets third birthday party at {surprise, surprise!} Happy Joe's in Dubuque. It is where we have had all of their parties so far and it has been so much fun! The boys were really into it this year and were so much fun. Because there are three of them, they were confused about the whole "who's birthday is it" and believed it was everyone's birthday. We introduced the word "triplets" to them, but they are still really too little to understand it.

They each always get their own cake because Grandpa Kenny is awesome and feels that since it is each thier birthday, they each deserve one. We also always sing "Happy Birthday" to each of them individually. Steve's cousins make the cakes and they seriously are the best cakes I have ever tasted!!

Nathanial with his cake

Ethan with his cake

Noah is far too busy checking out the cake and candle to worry about a silly picture

There he is!

Wow....all these crazy people taking pictures of us!

Hannah wants in on the action - already "testing" the cake prior to it even being cut!

Who is this crazy lady with the horn???
And why does she know our names???

Dudes....I think she's seriously talking about us!!!!

Oh, wow!! All this sugar is simply heaven!!!!

Present time!
Ethan still is happy with the 25 cent toy from the machine.

Noah loves his new bookbag and is ready for preschool!

Ethan loves the motorcycle!

Thano loves his shirt from his Godmother!

Austin let me take one picture!

The sugar high is gone and Hannah is enjoying snuggling with Grandma.

I am so tired, Mommy!

All waiting for Daddy at Target and ready to head home!