Austin is not generally a very affectionate person...when he is, it's on his terms. I have come to accept this. It was very difficult at first for me to realize that when I say "I love you" or hug him, he finds it physically uncomfortable and doesn't want to just reciprocate the "I love you" if he's not feeling like it. Since his diagnosis (Asperger Syndrome), I have backed off and left it completely up to him. This has actually been a great thing. Now, when he comes up and sits by me or holds my hand, or says "I love you," I know that he really means it and I cherish those times and they are very special to me.
This flows over to his relationship with his brothers. He doesn't really like them most of the time and feels they (all of them) are an invasion in his life that he didn't invite and he didn't want. He can be very resentful to me about it and gets very angry with me at times. Most of the time, he just ignores them. Aidan he will occasionally play with and sometimes they play very well together. Most of the time, they agitate the bejeebers out of each other, though. Aidan knows EXACTLY what buttons to push with Austin and he does so frequently. When they are on the computer together, though, they usually get along swimmingly.
Today, something happened that brought a tear to my eye. I was making dinner when I heard giggling from the babies and Austin making really silly noises. I, very quietly, went out to the dining room where I observed Austin genuinely playing with his brothers and loving it. It was so sweet and so special to see. I love it when I "catch" him being good and truly enjoying himself when I haven't prodded him at all to do it (last I knew he was in his room reading). Here's the video:
1 comment:
As you say, it's on Austin's terms. How precious a memory for you. I'm glad you were able to capture and share this memory with us.
Helena
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